The doctor told me yesterday that I should have my tonsils out. He began to describe some unlikely but possible side effects. The first thing he said was there might be uncontrollable bleeding that would lead to hospitalization. The next thing he mentioned was that it might change my voice to a higher pitched or squeaky voice. The third thing I totally forgot because as soon as I heard that my voice might change I shut down. I've never really liked my voice. When I hear it on a recording or over video I've always shuttered and secretly chastised myself for not having a more "lady like" voice. But the thought of my voice changing, in any way, left me feeling totally different. I was feeling protective of my voice. Because after all it is MINE and I want to keep it the way it is!
I've always hated the way my arms look. I've also had people make fun of my feet (big for a girl) and I have hated a lot of things about myself for a long time. Then I thought, "wait, why do I hate my arms? They work. At least I HAVE arms, at least I HAVE feet". There are some people that have neither yet they live a happy life. During my marriage I watched the man I loved drool over women that had completely different body types then mine. That destroyed me because I couldn't be what he wanted. Since then I have desired to be lighter up top, darker skinned, and overall much more slender (with smaller calves I got these dang soccer calves). But I got to thinkin'...why would I want that? My body gets me to work, to school, and home again. My body also gave me my son. Heck, I'm even able to run 3 or 4 times a week. I clean up nice so who cares if I have a tan or look good in apple bottom jeans and don't even get me started on those stupid boots with the fur. I HATE that trend. I like being me. So what if I'm pasty? I glow in the dark, it's true but should I feel bad about that?
Here's a little inspiration to all you who want to loose weight. Every time you feel too tired to go walking or running, just think at least you CAN walk. What if you were laid up in bed for 5 months and couldn't do a thing? I'm pretty sure that once you got your walkin' papers you'd be gone with the wind. So when you feel too tired to exercise, just remember this blog and GO DO IT! If you hate the way your butt looks in those jeans, be thankful that you HAVE a butt to put in those jeans (however tiny it may be :o) And if you got TOO much boot (by your own standards), just rock whacha got as ONLY YOU CAN!
Love ya,
Cherish Shalom
P.S. In the pic above I felt so pasty and fat after seeing this picture...women, we are too concerned about our looks!
